Epilogue by Chaplain Ray Hoekstra :: Will You Die For Me?

Epilogue by Chaplain Ray Hoekstra

After serving as the unseen listening ear for so many pages, I now intrude in my own voice. There is very little that I can add to the story of Charles Watson. He has lived through, in a terrible and heartbreaking way, the basic struggle of our universe. Light and darkness-life and death-have each claimed his soul.

My purpose in speaking at all is simply to support the truth of what has happened in Charles's life in the past two years. I have heard him preach, seen him minister to the needs of his brothers in prison, and I've spent hours talking with him. I know "jailhouse religion" when I see it, and this is not it. This is the kind of total spiritual revolution that only comes through the powerful and loving work of the Holy Spirit of God, bringing new life to the human heart.

Charles and his brothers in Plazaview Chapel are one of the most powerful, authentic Christian communities I have ever witnessed, and their impact on California Men's Colony is not limited to those to whom they minister on a personal basis. Last year I came to the Colony for a musical and preaching program that was to be videotaped for later viewing on national television. The huge auditorium was jammed with prisoners, staff and their families, and the large technical crew that is necessary for such a production. The program had barely begun when the overload created by video equipment and lights caused a power failure that plunged the auditorium and portions of the rest of the institution into near darkness. More than a thousand inmates were packed together in the dimness of the hot, stuffy auditorium-a situation tailor-made for trouble. The staff was obviously uneasy as the minutes ticked away and a crew worked to restore power.

Under normal circumstances it would have been almost inevitable-as fifteen, then thirty, then forty minutes crawled past-that some sort of violence would have erupted, some incident been created to take advantage of the situation. But these were not "normal" circumstances. In the front rows of the auditorium, the brothers of the Plazaview Chapel had unobtrusively joined hands in prayer, calling down the calming Spirit of God upon the room, the men, the whole institution. They prayed for nearly an hour, and for nearly an hour the men sat quietly, patiently, talking softly among themselves without incident and without violence until the program could resume. Perhaps only someone who has seen as much of prisons and prisoners as I have can appreciate how truly remarkable this was.

I am not the only witness to what God has accomplished in the life of Charles Watson. Chaplain Stanley McGuire has turned over almost all his counseling load to Charles since, as he puts it, "He speaks more effectively to the men than I can," and the chaplain plans to sponsor Charles for seminary enrollment at such time as he may be granted parole. Bill Boyd-the Texas attorney whom the old Charles pestered for four years with constant letters seeking new legal avenues for appeal-was convinced of the sincerity of Charles's experience when the nagging letters stopped, later to be replaced by warm descriptions of new and growing opportunities for service within his prison setting.

There are certain to be those who will think that Charles's change of life (and, in fact, this book itself) is merely an attempt to gain an early parole. I can only say that I am absolutely convinced of Charles's honesty when he affirms his willingness to be wherever God wants him, inside prison or out.
Others will no doubt be convinced that his purpose in publishing this account is financial, and perhaps they will be sickened by the idea of someone making money from the recitation of such horrible crimes as these. I am glad to be able to assure such persons that Charles Watson will not personally receive one penny from the sale of his story (nor will I). If he were in a position to receive any profit from this book, Charles once told me, he would want the money to go to the families of his victims or to the state of California's prison-chaplaincy programs. Charles's only motivation in telling his story is to bear witness to the power and redeeming love of Jesus Christ in his life, to share the truth and light he has been given with others who until now have only seen the darkness of his enslavement to Charles Manson.

Some will very likely attempt to avoid the powerful message contained in these pages by an attitude similar to that expressed by a dear friend of mine: "Well, you know, once they go over the edge on dope, the only thing left is fanatical religion . . . . It's a constant pattern." There is one small shred of truth in this statement which should not be ignored: Christ Himself said that the worst sinners would more readily receive the Good News than those confident of their own goodnessperhaps because having reached the end of one's self makes clearer the existential position we are all in-if we only had the eyes to see it. However, to write off Charles's experienceand, as he notes, that of millions of other much more ordinary people the world over-as just another flip in a growing psychosis is to completely ignore the truth that Charles's behavior and mental state have, by any standard, been remarkably transformed. It is hard to believe that further mental dislocation would create the wholesome, loving, competent man that Charles Watson is today at age thirty-one.

It may also be argued by some people that while Charles may have needed the "religious experience" he describes-due to the gross nature of his guilt-they themselves lead perfectly decent lives and such an experience is not required by their condition. They have "nothing to be forgiven." Without delving into the intriguing question of how far any one of us can go in propounding his own righteousness, the stark fact remains that if there is operating in our world the spiritual Power sufficient to bring such radical and positive change in the life of Charles Watson, then surely it behooves each of us to consider the claims of that Power on ourselves.

There may even be those of basic sympathy with Christian teaching who somehow feel that Charles's guilt is so enormous, his crime so revolting, that it is unforgivable. Or-more intellectually put-the argument might run that in order to reach the point of committing the crimes in question, a person would have to so damage his spiritual and psychological capacities as to be incapable of regeneration. Christ's answer to that is simple: ". . . him who comes to me I will not cast out" (John 6:37 RSV). The God who made life from nothing is perfectly capable of remaking life from even the worst we do to ourselves mentally and spiritually.

The story of Charles Watson touches one of the most frightening and disturbing events of our generation. It haunts not only those who were personally touched by it but the millions more who were only exposed to it through the media or Prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi's powerful account of the Manson madness, Helter Skelter. Yet, the story goes on for Charles Watson, beyond Helter Skelter, as it does for Susan Atkins and Bruce Davis and-God willing, in time-others of the Family as well. The story, contrary to what everything would lead us to believe, does not end in death.

For Charles Watson, the story ends in life-life that is stronger than all death. It ends in love-love great enough to heal our worst sickness, transform our broken lives and make them whole.

And though the story began in the darkness of hell itself, for Charles Watson the story ends in radiant light, shining directly into the darkness-a light that the darkness will never overpower: